Blogging Training Camp · Selfie Escapades

Ah, the first time I took a selfie…

…Oh yeah! Which was conveniently¬†today ūüėÄ

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BOOM! Sexy right???¬†I know!… my Grandma totally knows what she’s talking about when she calls me handsome!…

I mean… come on!

That pigging flair of the nostrils?.. Mild tooth discoloration? (Naturally, I blame the sunlight)… And chin stubble slating me to be on track with such bearded legends as Abraham Lincoln???…

Channing Tatum better steer clear of the greater St. Louis area if he wants ANY chance of keeping his game up!!!


…But seriously… with all facetiousness aside…

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My name is Benjamin Apprill, (Ben, if you don’t want to embody that grandmotherly tone at me), and this is my first official blog post!

Upon being my first day taking selfies for profile pictures, (which is actually the truth, despite the underlying humorous tone at the beginning of the post), I managed to learn a thing or two about the process:

  • The Weather
    • SUPER important! I dared to go out on a different day in the rain for the selfies… NOT a good idea for the haircut! Especially when I spent like, five minutes on it! (Do you know how long that is for styling in guy time???)
    • Going out on a sunny day is definitely preferred. Using the sun to your advantage will add a pleasant glow to your skin… Whereas the lack of sunlight will make your skin appear pale and morbid. (Unless you are naturally tanned… like that asshole Channing Tatum!)

Ahem! I mean… I’m not intimidated by Channing’s charm and good looks!…(Eyes sliding shut in subconscious denial)…

MOVING ON! MOVING ON!…

  • Camera Angles
    • This is where having friends…(NOT EVEN GOING THERE!), or some kind of delayed camera shot from a tri-pod, will afford one much more creative angles to use to their advantage. It allows including certain objects in the shot with you, or for getting whole body shots for things like your rock hard six pack which I, ahem…¬†conveniently¬†forgot to include in my shots… (just trust, just trust)…

Uh… Did I say “With all facetiousness aside?”…

  • Multiple Takes
    • Yeah, just an FYI?… IT’S CALLED SELFIE‘S¬†FOR A REASON!
    • When someone posts they just took a “selfie”…¬†ITS TOTAL BULLSHIT! NO ONE LOOKS THAT GOOD ON THE FIRST TAKES!… (And I tried so hard D; …) Alas, perhaps with practice, one can learn the magic of not uselessly filling their phone memory with horrendous attempts at looking excellent…

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Until that point?… You’ll be spamming that shit like you’re a contender on¬†“America’s Next Top Model”… lets hope your not self-conscious if you have neighbors in viewing distance ;P


But seriously… with all facetious facetiousness aside…

My name is Benjamin Apprill… And this is my first blog post.

With it being my first time taking an actual selfie, it was a natural vector to write my first blog post on the experience as well. Never again will I judge the selfie culture, never again will I belittle the subtle art of self-photography for the sake of highlighting attractive qualities…

It is a skill-set in its own right, a talent to be practiced. An activity to be properly tooled for, requiring a subtle sense for your setting… It is a creative expression that has taken the world by storm… And as I have found out today… for good reason.

Leave a comment below if you have any humorous stories relating to your first selfies!

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2 thoughts on “Ah, the first time I took a selfie…

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